Delay is not denial....

Many months ago I blogged about trials. The last few years, I have felt that one of my trials was not being able to become a mother. I wanted that so bad, but finally the end of April I decided to just...be thankful for what I have and not focus on the things I didn't.  Driving home one day from work, I saw a sign that said "Delay is not denial, so keep praying." That sign spoke to me. I felt God was letting me know, children would come, just don't lose hope. That was Monday May 7.  On Saturday I woke up, and took a pregnancy test. I have taken many tests over the five years of my marriage. Many, many, many!!! Always negative. ALWAYS. Until....

Finally!!! After five years of marriage and trying for all those years, we had managed to make a baby!!!! The morning went something like this. I woke up, took the pregnancy test, looked at it, only saw one line (which means negative) and told myself, its ok. We can try again next month. I washed my hands, then decided I would take one last look at the test (the one in the middle in the pic) before I threw it away. There, faintly on the test was the one thing I had NEVER seen on a pregnancy test of mine before.  A SECOND LINE!!!!! My hands started shaking so bad and I ran into the bedroom and woke Jungleboy up, "Do you see what I see?? Do you? DO YOU???"  Jungleboy wiped the sleep from his eyes and peered at the stick. "Um, maybe?" he said. Feeling a tad deflated, but not giving up on the fact that I really truly did see a second line (not like all the other "lines" that I had seen on different tests, the wishful thinking ones) I show it to him again. Being a bit more awake now, Jungleboy agrees that he too sees another line.  I can't even begin to describe the amount of joy I felt that day. I couldn't believe that my dreams of being a mom were finally coming true. Jungleboys sister was getting married that Saturday and as we went to her wedding luncheon, I was on cloud 9. Nothing could bring me down!! Everything seemed a little better.  After the luncheon and before the wedding, we went to Walmart, so we could get a digital test. We found the test that we wanted to get, paid for it and I ran to the bathroom (by this time really needing to pee) only to find that the bathroom was closed. We rush out to the car, drive to the nearest gas station and I run inside, only to find the bathroom in a state of disgustingness. The toilet was filthy, paper towels & toilet paper all over the floor, the floor was wet. It was not where I wanted to take my second test!! So I went out and asked if I could use the employee bathroom. The girl tells me to use the one for customers, but I told her that it was super dirty. Finally I get a key to use the employee bathroom, do my thing and then wait. And wait. And wait. The stupid little hourglass on that test seemed to stay forever. I was so nervous. What if after all this joy, the test says NOT PREGNANT??? Finally the test is complete and I look at it and there it is PREGNANT!!!

So, there I am, officially pregnant. The next couple weeks go by, and life is great. I feel good, things seem to be going well. I continue taking a test a day for awhile, the lines keep getting darker and darker. And then......morning sickness kicked in. I HATE throwing up. I will do everything in my power to not throw up, but alas. I embrace the throwing up. Did I enjoy it? No. Am I glad I am passed that stage now? Heck yes!!! But then at 12 weeks, we went to the doctor and got an ultrasound done and got this pic:

And it was so amazing. Love at first sight sounds so cheesy, but thats exactly what it was. I already loved this little baby, but seeing the baby, made it even more real. At 17 weeks we had another ultrasound. Our doctor checked the sex, called my friend Christy, who baked us a cake with the inside colored either purple for a girl or green for a boy. We cut in to the cake and GREEN!!!!! While little girl stuff is absolutely adorable and I can't wait to have a girl someday, I was/am excited for a boy, as I always wanted an older brother.

At 22 weeks we got an anatomy scan. I was super nervous for this one, where they check everything and look for any abnormalities. Lucky baby Poppy (his nickname while in the womb!) passed with flying colors! At this scan we got this pic:

And even more, I realized, wow. There is a little baby growing inside me! After trying for five years, it still felt surreal to me! I was curious to see if baby was for sure a boy, since sometimes at 17 weeks they can be wrong, but as soon as the ultrasound technician began to look around, there was baby Poppy, legs spread wide, declaring to us "I AM A BOY!!!!"

Today I am 26 weeks (27 on Friday) and I am so thankful for this baby, for my pregnancy, for the support of my family and friends, especially my mom and Jungleboy. I think my mom is almost as excited to be a grandma to baby Poppy as I am to have baby Poppy!! Jungleboy has been so loving and is so good at taking care of me and baby Poppy already. He cooks, he cleans, he works hard and I appreciate it so much!! So just remember, when life is hard, and not seeming to go your way, think of these words:

Delay is not denial, so keep praying!!